Showing posts with label Vlad the Impaler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vlad the Impaler. Show all posts

Friday, April 13, 2007

Biography Podcast 0025: Vlad the Impaler - Part II

Yo yo yo! What up out there in the nation! Phillip here stoked and ready to serve up Vlad Dracula - Part II. Snuggle up, find a blankie, turn on the lights - it's coming at you now!



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Biography Transcript
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The Impaler's rule continued along the same lines. Many boyars were taken captive and used for slave labor, the church structure was changed with Dracula putting his uncle (a Bishop) as the head of his church rather than answer to Rome. Then, Vlad the Impaler went on one of the most awful reigns of terror known to man, killing between 30,000 to 100,000 men, women and children. Numbers only comparable to the brutality and cruelty of Nazi Germany or Stalin's Russia. For the sake of saving the young listeners, I will spare most of the details, however, if you can imagine a cruel and unusual way to kill someone, Dracula did it. He impaled, he boiled people, he had them skinned, he had their internals cut out and cut people open - while they were alive. But mostly, he impaled.

While impalement wasn't the invention of Vlad Dracula, he raised it to an art form, in ways a little to graphic for me to describe here. But, if Dracula was so busy raising torture to an art form and murdering thousands of people - how did he stay in power? Why wasn't there some type of rebellion? The answer to the question was in two parts. It was a willing ignorance from the ruling elites that were willing to allow whatever happened inside Romania to stay inside Romania (kind of like modern day Vegas) as long as Vlad was also killing the Turks - which he was also doing by the thousands; and, it was fear and intimidation that kept the countrymen quiet. But, it couldn't stay quiet forever, and, it didn't.

Near the middle of the second rule, conflicts started again with the Ottoman Empire, and the Son of the Dragon was in the midst of the trouble. With the west, lead by the Roman Church attempting to stay out of all out war, Dracula pushed the then Sultan, Sultan Mehmed whom he knew from his boyhood, into a desire to crush the Wallachian ruler once and for all by sending back his emissaries with their traditional head garb nailed to their heads with rusty spikes. Despite a potential last effort at relative peace by the Muslims - which Vlad responded to by impaling an advanced guard and leaving them out in the sun to rot - the Sultan was finally inflamed enough to attack.

The numbers were staggering. Dracula was out manned, he was desperate. He appealed to Rome to authorize a Holy Crusade (which they did), though it was by threatening them to provide help or be attacked by *him* if Romaina was taken. The 30,000 men weren't enough though. Dracula knew that he could not defeat the massive Ottoman force no matter how brilliant a physical campaign could be run. He knew that he had to defeat the Ottomans in their imaginations. And he knew the way to do it. As the Sultan and his men marched on the capital, Vlad Dracula took all of the Muslim captives he had taken - all 20,000 of them - from his dungeon. When the Sultan and his men reached the capital they saw a vision of hell. 20,000 of their comrades with their robes billowing about them, impaled through their backsides with the spikes coming out of their mouths. The Ottomans buckled their mounts, turned in terror and rode for the Danube praying for deliverance from the devil behind them. What Vlad the Impaler did not know was that among the retreating Turks was his brother, Radu, who was determined to take Wallachia for the Turks and become the first Prince crowned in Romania for the Ottoman Empire.

Using his knowledge of Vlad and his knowledge of the Europeans, Radu - also son of the dragon - planned his attack. Using the same mind games, Radu stationed troops where he could summon them, then infiltrated the Boyar class. There he took advantage of Dracula's cruelty by promising the boyars that there would be no more torture, a restoration of their ruling class - and peace with the Turks - *if* they supported him as prince. With the die thus set, Radu started a rebellion. Vlad, thinking that his brother could not bald-face betray him, made the mistake of letting his guard down. Radu, calling for troops out of nowhere attacked and routed the Prince's castle... but Vlad wasn't there. As it turned out, Vlad was vacationing in his castle to the north of the capital. Hearing this, Radu surrounded the castle and attacked. With but a few gunners and troops the castle was soon breached. Rather than suffer a horrible fate, Vlad's wife threw herself from a tower. With his wife and his kingdom gone, Vlad Son of the Dragon fled for his life to Hungary - where he was promptly arrested and imprisoned by King Matthias.

While imprisoned, confined to his cell, the former prince practiced a strange habit of impaling spiders, roaches and mice that he would trap. According to prison guards, he would skewer them with slivers of wood pried from the floorboards of his cell and display them, trophies, on his windowsill. He'd sink into a reverie after stabbing them, gazing in awe at their tiny twitches until they finally lay still. But Vlad was not to be in prison long.

Only several months after Vlad was imprisoned, Radu settled into his seat on the throne of Wallechia, affairs calmed down, and Vlad's imprisionment became more of a "tag" program - where, while he was still technically in custody of the King, Vlad was on a release program and could go (within the country where he would). Here Vlad Dracula proved his sanity, and his deviousness. While in custody, Dracula, rather than being a lowly prisioner, turned on all the charm of a brilliant noble born and charmed the court of the King - going so far as to win the heart of the Countess Ilona Szilagy - a cousin of the King - and getting the king's blessing to marry her and an apartment to live in! Vlad was on best behavior in this marriage (as opposed to earlier marriages and affairs where he had his wife and mistress killed in gruesome manners) - and the Countess provided the son of the dragon with two strapping sons - one even named Vlad. But, even with prosperity, a wife, healthy children and all the benefits of being one of the king's confidants - Dracula was not happy. He wanted war - and as it turned out, he didn't have too long to wait.

After 13 years as a political prisoner - King Matthias officially pardoned Dracula - but with a purpose. Unrest had grown in Wallechia for two reasons. Vlad's brother Radu was in trouble with the boyar class, who were unhappy with him because he hadn't come through with all the reforms in their favor that he had promised when they helped him overthrow his brother Vlad. Meanwhile, Matthias and Steven the Great were unhappy with the Turkish presence and the traitorous actions of Radu, so, in an historical first alliance of all three portions of modern day Romania, along with Vlad, they plotted Radu's overthrow. There was only one problem, the people of Wallechia hadn't forgotten Vlad in his long absence. It seems that cruel torture, impalement and enslavement sits long on a populations mind. Undeterred, Matthias became Vlad's front-man. But why would he do such a thing? Good question.

Matthias wanted Vlad on the throne for two simple reasons. He knew he would be a capable commander, and he knew he'd be loyal. He wanted his cousin Vlad on the throne because it would be beneficial for him, and so, Matthias became Dracula's pimp. How'd you like to go down in history with that inauspicious moniker, heh?

Anyway, with the plot in motion, Matthias provided the blood thirsty Impaler with an army to terrorize the Turks, drive Radu out and weaken the sultan - all which Dracula did with relish. Getting rid of Radu was easier than planned - he died of syphilis. Would it surprise you to hear that Dracula wasn't all broken up over it? Good, because he wasn't. Instead of morning, starting in October of 1475, Dracula went on an impalement spree, cutting a swath through the reeling Turks all the way to the Danube. In one of the most staggering blood baths ever recorded, the 5,000 Crusaders routed the Turks and had Vlad ensconced in the palace at Tirgoviste by March of '76. Matthias did a masterful PR job for Dracula, telling the ruling class that the son of the Dragon was stabilizing the region and telling the Pope it was for the cause of the Crusades. Unfortunately, he couldn't sell it to the local counties around the palace, and that made Dracula's final rule briefer than the life expectancy of a vampire with a stake in it's heart.

With Vlad on the throne, Matthias' army returned home in March leaving Vlad with barely 2,000 men to defend the kingdom and to attack the Turks if needed. Unfortunately for Dracula, by November the Sultan regrouped and he was called to go into battle again. By Christmas, the Impaler would be dead. You see, unfortunately, when the son of the dragon sounded the battle cry - no one responded. Dracula, a man virtually without an army, went to fight the Sultan troops that numbered in the TENS of thousands.

On a cold morning not long before Christmas, Dracula and his vanguard encountered an overwhelming body of Turks. Lead by their leader who wielded his father's Toledo blade and charged screaming into the fray like a berserker, the Romanians, though in great minority, fought like devils. But, even the devil will have his day of judgement - and that day Vlad the Impaler had his. How Dracula died is anyone's guess...assumptions are many and witnesses unreliable. In the end, only this is certain – it was recorded by the monastery monks – his body was found mutilated in a nearby bog: The only way the good priests could tell who he was came from the medallions and the princely vestments he wore. He was decapitated, seemingly in ritualistic style after death. His head was nowhere to be found. Where he is buried is unknown.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Biography Podcast 0024: Vlad the Impaler - Part I

Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay getting this show out to you, but you still gotta feel the love - well kinda. Why? Because it's all about Vlad this week. Find someone you love to snuggle with - Dracula is coming at ya!



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e-mail: biographypodcast [at] gmail.com
voicemail: 206-202-W00T (9008)
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God bless, now go out and do something amazing that will be in your biography!

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Biography Transcript
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Vlad Dracula was born into the cut-throat culture of Renaissance-era Romania to Basarab the Dragon the Royal Governor of Transylvania and Princess Cneajna of Moldavia in either November or December 1431. A son of tumult in a land that knew battle from the day of his birth well past the day of his death, Vlad son of Dragon (which is what Dracula means), never knew peace. His story is one of pride, courage, war and insanity.

Born the second son of the Royal Governor, Vlad along with his brothers Mircea (the first born) and Radu were trained to be warriors from their youth, all learning to steady a bow, wield a blade and ride bareback before they reached the age of their scholastic studies. Fighting was first because in the era and land that he lived in, war was constant over either religion with the Ottoman Turks, with rulers of the surrounding kingdoms such as Hungary and Poland or internally with the other members of the Romanian royal families trying to take over the different lands.

At the time of Vlad's birth, Romania (as was the case with what we have come to know as many modern European countries) was not one kingdom, but three. Vlad's father Barsarab was Governor of center kingdom, Transylvania, but there were two others including Wallechia (the southern kingdom and military state that Vlad was to rule later) and the eastern kingdom of Moldavia (the place of his mother's origins). In this environment, Prince Vlad was raised to be a noble familiar with all the affairs that impacted the kingdoms surrounding him and the treacheries of the court. He was a "gentleman" when the occasion was fit, and he was fluent in several languages including Romanian, Turkish, Latin and German. He was also a mass murderer, a Christian crusader and determined and brilliant military commander.

When Vlad was barley a teenager at age 13, Basarab the Dragon made the crucial mistake of responding to the request to treat with the Turkish court. Of all the nobility of Romania, the Dragon was the only noble to show up, and when he did both he and his two youngest sons (Vlad and Radu) were promptly arrested. In order to gain release, the Turkish court demanded that Basarab leave his two sons in custody, which without other alternatives, he did. In doing so, he provided the environment for the creation of one of the most bloody despots of all time.

After the Dragon's departure, the Turkish court imposed the same discipline on others they had taken captive. They were to become Muslims (a shock to the son of a devout and devoted Catholic mother who raised her sons in the church), engage in Islamic studies, study Persian and Arabic - all to prepare them to become part of the Ottoman ruling class. During most of their time in captivity, they were given fairly free reign. Each boy took differently to the circumstance, Radu considering Turkey his adopted country, Vlad bemoaning the lack of personal liberty and being openly derisive of the Asian customs. Accordingly, Vlad was taken to the whipping post on several occasions in order to help him curb his tongue.

In 1445, three years into his captivity, the Romanian kingdoms launched another Crusade against the Ottoman Turks. Though the Dragon did not personally bear arms in the fight, the Turkish court still threw Vlad and Radu into the dungeon. There, they received daily floggings and endured long periods of hunger. Dracula's insolence harshened his treatment; he suffered various tortures to mind and body. Still, he was kept alive. It was there, from a narrow window above his cell, Vlad Dracula witnessed the executions of less-fortunate prisoners taking place in the yard outside. Depending upon their crime, they received various punishments. Many were impaled.


At first, the teenage boy must have been repulsed at the site of impalement. But, after a while, he grew fascinated by it. Impalement, the most inhuman of punishments, involved piercing a body length-wise through an orifice with a sharpened pole, the victim then left to die atop the raised pole. Death was excruciating and sometimes slow. Dracula watched the victims squirm, scream, hemorrhage, then die. Vlad learned to detest his captives for their cruelty. Battered, starving, cut, singed and now having to view what the Turks did several times a week just beyond his windowsill, he probably went mad. It was there that his thirst for revenge grew and the making of the monster and heroic Crusader became complete. Now all the son of the Dragon needed was a way out of his imprisonment.

While Prince Vlad was imprisoned, the European crusade was led by Jonas Hunyadi, called the White Knight. After a few victories, Hunyadi's forces encountered an overwhelming force of Sultan Murad's army and the Crusaders were slaughtered and scattered. Hunyadi was forced to flee on foot. Shortly after, Hunyadi gathered a small army and rather than attack the Turks, he mounted an attack against Dracula's father in an attempt to regain power, run Wallechia, and hopefully still attain his goal of ruling Hungary. The Dragon was caught completely off guard and along with his wife and first son was forced to flee the castle for their lives.


When Vlad was 17 news that his father, mother and brother (who had been buried alive) had been attacked and massacred reached him. He went berserk. Seeing this, Sultan Murad determined that the Dragon's son had suffered enough and offered him a command in the cavalry. Vlad Dracula jumped at it and in less time than you can say "silver bullet" had slyly turned his release into his coronation party. Using shrewdness that served him well for the rest of his life, Vlad played his two enemies against each other by proposing to the sultan that he should fund him and supply an army so that he could take back the throne of Wallechia. If the sultan would help, Vlad promised to keep highways and commerce open and provide a 10,000 ducat annual tribute to the Sultan. The Sultan bought the plan - and Vlad struck.

With a large contingent of tribal horsemen riding with him the son of the dragon struck stealthily, swiftly and mercilessly. In a night raid Vlad's army attacked the vanguard of Hunydai's army and wiped it out, however, to the great disappointment of Dracula, Hunydai had escaped. Swiftly consolidating his power, Dracula placed himself on the throne, then rooted out and made examples of anyone who had supported Hunydai. Dracula's first reign began - and in almost record time came to a close, when within 2 months Hunydai's armies had regrouped, been reinforced and headed back to the castle. Prince Vlad saw the army coming and fled to his mother's home land of Moldavia where he was provided refuge by the family for the next three years.

In the third year, Prince Bogdan who was responsible for protecting the young prince, was assassinated. In need of protection, Vlad turned back to Wallachia where Jonas Hunydai - who was now ruling Hungary, found need of the former Turkish royal slave. In an odd alliance of two brilliant opportunists, the enemy of their enemy became their friend and they united against the new Turkish Sultan. Vlad, who was known by many names such as Vlad the Warrior Prince or Vlad the Conqueror, now set out for the title he wanted most - Vlad Son of the Dragon - Vlad Dracula.

When they allied, Hunydai assigned Vlad to two key provinces that needed to be defended against the Turkish forces. Soon, however, Hunydai called on the warrior prince to provide insight on how to attack the Moors as they stormed into eastern Europe after felling the Holy Roman empire. Hunydai relied on Dracula's two pronged strategy to defeat the oncoming Turks, and in two victories they sealed the security of Hungary and Romania, with Hunydai saving Belgrade. Vlad on the other hand is, according to uncontested legend, is said to have come face to face with is family's murderer, taken him on in single combat and in a single stroke - lopped of his head. Within a year of the dual victory, however, Hunydai had died and again, Prince Vlad mounted the Wallachian throne. This time though, there was no route. Instead, the new ruler had the the Dracula Crest – the crest bearing a winged dragon (the symbol of courage) embracing the Cross (a symbol of Catholicism) – on the provincial stamp, banners, coins, public buildings, suits of armor, and on a glorious plaque hanging above his throne. He had been called by many other names, but finally the one that he coveted was his - Vlad Dracula.

The new prince waisted no time in changing the order of things and for establishing his reputation for brutal retribution against his enemies. Dracula immediately created a military state, instituting what was essentially marshal law. His reason? Wallachia was on the front lines of defense against the Turks - there needed to be constant vigilance. And he, the new voivode the Warrior Prince would be the sovereign decision maker rather than the feudal system of the domnul (or princes) that were puppets of the boyars (or ruling class). To evidence this, Dracula invited 200 boyars who had written letters of complaint about the new system to the capital in Tirgoviste where he hosted a dinner. There he accused them of being the reason why the country had been unstable, then had them taken out, speared thereby killing them, then impaled and put on display outside the palace wall on display. The message was clear, Vlad the Dragon would not be trifled with.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Biography Podcast 0023: Update- eBay's Vladuz the Russian Impaler

You won't believe this till you hear it. Vlad lives in 2007!



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voicemail: 206-202-W00T (9008)
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God bless, now go out and do something amazing that will be in your biography!

Monday, February 26, 2007

Biography Podcast: Vlad the Impaler Promo

A Biography Podcast first - a promo! Let me know what you think :-)



Contact info:
e-mail: biographypodcast [at] gmail.com
voicemail: 206-202-W00T (9008)
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Contact Ed Melendez at Five Shock Design for your web site!
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God bless, now go out and do something amazing that will be in your biography!